I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
