Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize