I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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