I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize