my mouth tastes like poor choices
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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