May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just blew my weed a kiss
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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