Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
