Quick, to the slutcave!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
