i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
