I'm drive I can fine osifer
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
