I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i was born a porn star she said
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
