is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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