took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
