I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize