why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
