No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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