btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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