Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
