Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize