So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
