is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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