she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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