Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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