Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I can text with my tongue
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Randomize
