from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
