i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
