chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Even my vagina gasped.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
