I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
