If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize