which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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