Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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