Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
