So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His nipple licking is glorious
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