New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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