I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
