3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
