Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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