Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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