Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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