Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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