I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
