whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize