I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
