everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
