our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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