dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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