i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
