If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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