I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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