I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
