Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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