I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
