Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
