White coat. Heels.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
