You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
