....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
