She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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