Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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