I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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