How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
