dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
is it fun? or sober?
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