Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
