In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
