Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
