Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize