I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
