shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize