if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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